Disappointment and Resolve

It hasn’t been a great week on the job hunt. A position I really felt like I had a shot at didn’t pan out. I felt I did well in interviews and it was a good match all around, but apparently not good enough. Also, my former employer decided to appeal my unemployment decision. I think I can win that case but its a distraction to the job hunting.


On the bright side, an application that seemed like a hail marry pass turned up some unexpected opportunities and led to an inspiring interview with some possibility of future work My phone continues to ring occasionally with interest from the usual recruiters and interested parties so its not exactly a wasteland.


I take disappointment pretty well, but there is always a drag of anxiety and a struggle for self worth that comes with hunting for employment. Along side that for me is some impulse to just forge my own path and try to be in business for myself. If the interviews I’ve had with people I liked and admired, thats what they most suggest to me. While it has a great appeal, its a daunting prospect and I have always been something of a pragmatist. In the end, believing in myself, and a long history of not crashing and burning are what keeps me positive and moving forward.


At this point I have three viable strategies.

  1. Keep hunting until I land a decent salaried job despite my somewhat out of date skills
  2. Try to go into business for myself writing, programing, or lord knows what else
  3. Sink my savings into going to school and updating my skill set

There is always the multi-class option and trying to do more than one at a time… which is kind of my default but tends to yield rather mixed results. So far I have found I have the time and energy for about 1.5 of these strategies and am currently running 1 and half of 2. I’m starting to think 3 and half of 2 might be better so I’m going to start looking at my education options. If any of you have a vote or suggestions, I’d love to hear it.






Would you like fries with your decapitation?

My mind likes to form long rambling chains of thoughts where the connection from one to the next is sometimes more spiritual than logical. At some point I’ll laugh out loud and Anne will ask “OK, what is it?”

Yesterdays “inspiration” started with some talk about Oblivion, a Bathesda Elder scrolls game. Anne had been retro playing it recently in anticipation of their next release, Skyrim. I was thinking about the combat system which is one of the series weak points in some ways, it often swings widely from overly hard to exploitative easy. This led me to thinking of their Fallout games which have a different combat system, but also a bit flawed in similar respects. This led me to think of the coming Fallout MMO in development and how they might change combat there. Clearly VATS wasn’t workable for multi-player real time. My mind wandered to armor systems and trying to avoid every fall out player wearing powered armor at all times when in fact that simply made the most logical sense if you were being attacked by mutants and small nuclear weapons.

This in turn led me to consider getting blown up by said weapons and how they might handle death in a game with a wry sense of humor. I considered that being dead might be an opportunity for the game to chide you gently and perhaps share with you some strategic hints in a classic fallout style. Then, finally the idea referenced in the title came to me. They could use the opportunity of your inability to do much to show you some in game advertising. Hey, its not like you were doing anything just then right? Think of it as an in game insentive not to get yourself killed, and if the commercials were Fallout Funny, you might not even mind them so much.

Ultimately, I think it’s a bad idea. It creates an intensive or perceived intensive for the game to kill the characters as often as possible and keep them incapacitated so they can ply their eyeballs with paid adds. Still, I find it amusing and I think there is some opportunity to entertain dead players in a game that is heavy set with dark humor by torturing them just a little.

If you have any alternate death “penalties” I’d love to hear them.

Portal 2: Ya it’s really good

Yesterday Anne and I more or less declared a day off and did little other than play Portal 2. By 2am we had both beaten the single player as well as the co-opp which we tackled first.


Overall, we both loved it. Part of the joy of the original was… its originality and indeed much in the sequel is familiar. What it lacks in newness, it makes up for in added elements. The team play is wonderful, the more robust story is a lot of fun, and the new challenge elements add a lot of variety to the challenges. It is certainly much more a full game than its predecessor with far more puzzles, a wider range of environs, and a much richer story. That said, its still a “short” game in that you can play through it pretty quickly and replay is more limited than an RPG, Arcade or Strategy title. Personally, I prefer a shorter but richer game experience and I even though I ran through it in one marathon session, I felt like I got my full moneys worth of entertainment and challenge.


I did feel that Portal 2 was not exceptionally challenging and both Anne and I were rarely stumped for more than a handful of minutes. I’d like to think I’m just terribly clever, but I suspect that most won’t find it too hard unless spacial puzzles just aren’t your thing in which case…. might not be your kind of game. :)  Then again, it gave the pleasure of making me feel very clever without ever making me feel too stupid to figure it out. I think that is likely the sweet spot most game designers are shooting for so I’d call that a win. If you have never played Portal, it may be more challenging until you “get” the basic idea, fortunately the game does a great job bringing you up to speed as you play so you should find yourself feeling clever in no time flat.


Its very funny, more so than the first and with more characters worked into the story while still featuring lots of Glados. All of them are great! They also do a wonderful job expanding on both the world and the narrative story without slowing down the action at all. Valve is really great at story telling in action games, miles beyond a lot of other designers/writers.


Summary: Its a damn fine sequel and a wonderful game. Good job Valve!



Advanced Feats: Best Sellers

I like to watch over my little game products and see how they are doing, respond to readers, and generally indulge in a little internal joy at their mere existences. I was happy to discover that three of them have manged to be awarded copper sales medals at Drive Through RPG.


I don’t know exactly how many that is. It is the lowest of the sales awards they have, yet not all that many products I’ve looked at sport any such awards so I feel like its at least a little bit special. The three oldest books are sporting it and I hope that in time they all garner one.

Secrets of the Alchemist

Witch’s Brew

Summoner’s Circle


I have to say that much of the credit goes to Shelly Baur for her hard work on marketing and promoting Advanced Feats as well as for coming up with the idea of having me do feats books for them. She does a killer job for Open Design.

Movie Day

Yesterday I indulged in an epic pile of movie watching. I managed a bit of writing as well but really the majority was spent staring at the pretty pictures. Still, it was very relaxing and it was refreshing to have a slow paced day where I essentially only did one thing.

Nausica (new Disney Edition) – This is probably my favorite movie of all time. I pretty much tear up or choke back every time I watch the thing. Nausica is my hero. I can’t think of a more pure hearted and brave character in any story and the setting is one of the most unique and wondrous in any film. This time around I watched the new dubbed version. Anne found some of the stock actors annoying but I’ve never been to picky and I found the leads to be excellent. The early dialog in the movie is a little awkward, but its always been that way with Nausica talking to herself in order to introduce us to the world of the film. If you have never watched it… GET IT NOW!

Lord of the Rings – Extended Version – All 3 in a row –  I think this is the second time I’ve watched them all back to back. It is one heck of a long viewing, some 8 or more hours. It was every bit as gripping and involving as ever. It has a few slow moments and for whatever reason the pacing at the end leaves me a bit impatient, but man is it ever one epic piece of fantasy film and I doubt we will see its like again. It has a few soft spots but overall its just an amazing film and one I had always dreamed of but never expected would be made.

I also got out to see Sucker Punch – Anne did a full review of it but I have to say that I liked the movie for the most part. It didn’t have much weight to it but it has some gorgeous moments, some crazy ideas, and it is internally consistent with its vision. I think the problem is it knee caps itself. Most of the movie is the fantasy of a young girl and the depth of story and character are about what you would expect if a young girl was sitting around telling you a story she made up. While its rich with imagination, its also pretty shallow and one dimensional. The fantasy scenes reminded me of Samurai Cat, something I can sat of no other film.

Busy being unemployed

I intended to keep busy while between jobs, but I had no idea just how hectic life could feel while unemployed. 12 years a go I did a pretty long stint and to be honest there was a lot of video gaming going on, long walks, and watching TV.

This time around I’m up to my ears in stuff to do!

  • Job hunting – I have some 8 resumes now and every cover letter is hand done. Job sites require filling out lots of info over and over. I’m averaging about 10 apps per week and various follow ups. And for every app there are lots of positions to consider and research.
  • DDOCast – My weekly podcast takes some time to prepare and perform, and there is a fair bit of reading that goes into that.
  • Writing – There is more advanced feats work to be done and I got another small gig to write an article for EN-world. I also follow up on reviews and posts from readers and post here and there to promote the books. I’m also reviewing an upcoming novel now and trying to blog more.
  • Gaming – I signed up for a PvP tournament in DDO and am still playing fairly heavily (though a bit less). CoC and D&D games are ongoing.
  • Learning – For the jobs I really want bad I try to do a lot of research. I’ve been digging into the SEO business as of late. I’m also reading books on C# and Web development and trying to get started on some home projects for both.
  • Friends – I’m trying to use some of my “free time” to catch up with folks I haven’t seen in a while, and there are lots.
  • Housework – Since I’m home much more I’m doing more work on the home front, which I actually enjoy from time to time. Been more of a handy man changing faucets and fixing doors and such.

Back to work!

The Inquisitor’s Edge

This week Open Design released my sixth pdf in the Advanced Feats series. Christophe Swall, the cover artist and Anne really did a great job giving this one a visual knock out punch.

Inquisitor is a fun class. I think its one of the weaker classes from a power gaming perspective, but it is chock full of flavor and has oodles of role playing potential. They make great bounty hunters, detectives, or lone wolf warriors for the gods. This was really one of the easier ones to create feats for since the class has lots of mechanical hooks to dig into.

No reviews for Inquisitor’s Edge yet, but so far the series as a whole has garnered a lot of praise and there is a pretty steady request for a printed compilation and more works covering the base classes. We aim to please!

An even dozen

This week the company I’ve worked for for 12 years and I have parted ways. A year ago I also stepped away but was called back with reservations. This time however the parting is more absolute.

Prior to MRS I’d never worked at one company or operation for more than a year. I’d held jobs for longer but often the company would changed hands or I would get a dramatically different assignment. I’ve been working at the company longer than I’ve been married or lived in my home or quite a number of other things I measure my life by so leaving is a big change.

While I was very much enthusiastic about the companies ambitions and stated priorities, often the reality of how they were carried out left me confused, disappointed, sometimes angry, and in the final days, betrayed. I’ve always been one to hold onto things longer than they are of value for me and this was no exception.

And now now I am free of the obligation to fight for something that I didn’t believe in and seek a new objective, hopefully one more in keeping with my own spirit. My mind still frequently ponders what went wrong, and what could be done. I have a few loose ends to tie off but for the most part I’m moving on free and clear. Still, whatever my regrets, I did great things for MRS and MRS let me build a stable and prosperous life for which I’m grateful.

Finding a place where you can fit in well can be scary and challenging, but I have been there before and always found a way. So I am uncertain but optimistic.

Curmudgeon time: Death to the Third Dimension!

Just a short rant here about my dislike of the recent trend to make and show movies in 3D.

More and more the movies I want to go watch in the theater are coming out and being shown almost exclusively in the 3D format. At lest half the time I end up not watching the film due to the format.  Why?

1. It bugs out my eyes. My eyes naturally try to focus on background images and can’t. The illusion plays havoc with my brain and the result is a constant mild irritation.

2. It looks fake. While at times the illusion works, I am very aware its an illusion and a trick which fights agaisnt rather than aids my immersion. The only films where I don’t get this experience are animated ones because as animation it is already artificial and so it feels like technique rather than artifice.

3. The glasses are annoying. I don’t like wearing them and they often darken the screen so the image is not as attractive and the colors muted.

4. They charge more to see a film I enjoy less.

The only 3D film I have purely enjoyed was Coraline and I can’t say the 3D added a lot to the experience but I feel it did enhance it enough to overcome the annoyance factors. I sincerely hope this means of presenting films does not become the standard for “entertainment” films as it seems to be. My brain is perfectly able to imagine the third dimension without any technical assistance, thank you very much.